The fear of losing it
Have you ever played a game that made you so angry that you were beyond reason? It didn´t matter what people said or did, you just went berserk and you left a path of destruction behind you. I guess that sounds like a Godzilla movie but really it´s how some gamers express themselves when they´re furious. I think most of us say bad words (to keep it civilized) when we´re annoyed or frustrated about something that happens in a game, if this keeps happening then the frustration builds until you explode in a violent force of destruction. Some gamers are probably smart enough to do something else or just give up, but there are die hard gamers out there that just won´t give up and face defeat so many times that it only makes things worse. Then you really have to ask yourself, is this the smart thing to do?
What is so frustrating when playing a game? I don´t think that it always counts for everyone but I think most of us will find it annoying when an opponent doesn´t die even after you shot him or her multiple times and yet that opponent kills you with one shot. Other things that are frustrating are dying just before a checkpoint and you have to go through a very difficult part of a stage again, when you almost defeated a difficult boss and you die just before he dies, when bots you have to work with don´t help you and actually leave you to die, when people keep killing you the moment you spawn and let´s not forget people that cheat in a game! Often it´s something that makes you fail the game and which is always your fault, it´s an external factor that messes with your game experience. Which can be another player, a bot or a game mechanic.
Is it always the fault of someone else? Probably if you ask someone that gets angry a lot then he or she will say yes, but that´s not always true. Sometimes you´re just too slow on the trigger, your skills are just not good enough for that difficulty or you´re just not in the right mood (for example you´re tired) to play games. This will mess with your game performance and it´s easy to blame other players or the game for your failure but that´s the easy road. But if I put myself in that moment with those feelings of anger then I don´t think I´ll see reason, it´s always afterwards that you´ll see things a bit clearer. It´s when the red cloud of anger covers your view that you don´t see reason, then it´s the fault of someone but that person is hardly ever you. But there might always be a form of hatred towards yourself for failing, where you hit yourself or curse yourself. Not a healthy way of gaming or living!
So what should you do against this anger issue? Some people will say don´t play games, others will say put the game away for some time or just pause the game and calm yourself. That´s easy to say but it´s a slow and not always satisfying path. I´ve discovered that when I´m angry I want to vent it out, so shouting seems like a good thing to do but when you have neighbours then it´s not pleasant for them if you keep them up half the night. Which means banging on the walls or destroying your furniture isn´t really an option either, besides you´ll probably regret doing that later when you´ve calmed down. What works for me is writing or typing when I´m online, just vent your anger in words and put whatever you feel like on paper or the screen. If someone else frustrates you then type a message to the guy or girl, usually when you´re done with the message (assuming you have a lot to say) then you´re often already calmed down because writing and typing does take some concentration and that doesn´t go well with anger. So for you to type or write a proper message means you have to let go of the anger, which means that in the process of venting your anger you´re actually letting go. Now I´m not saying this works for everyone and I´m definately not encouraging people to send these hate messages. It´s really the process of typing and writing what I´m using as therapy, not the actual sending of the message. Probably in your first draft you´ve got a lot of mistakes in your message, if you don´t care about that then this is definately not your way of venting your anger. Because it´s actually about trying to be clever and vent your anger in a proper message. This means you´ll have to be concentrated and fixed on writing or typing without making mistakes. Which is where you´ll probably calm down in the process. The problem with getting angry is usually yourself, so be careful when you point fingers because you might do damage that you´ll regret sooner or later!
What is so frustrating when playing a game? I don´t think that it always counts for everyone but I think most of us will find it annoying when an opponent doesn´t die even after you shot him or her multiple times and yet that opponent kills you with one shot. Other things that are frustrating are dying just before a checkpoint and you have to go through a very difficult part of a stage again, when you almost defeated a difficult boss and you die just before he dies, when bots you have to work with don´t help you and actually leave you to die, when people keep killing you the moment you spawn and let´s not forget people that cheat in a game! Often it´s something that makes you fail the game and which is always your fault, it´s an external factor that messes with your game experience. Which can be another player, a bot or a game mechanic.
Is it always the fault of someone else? Probably if you ask someone that gets angry a lot then he or she will say yes, but that´s not always true. Sometimes you´re just too slow on the trigger, your skills are just not good enough for that difficulty or you´re just not in the right mood (for example you´re tired) to play games. This will mess with your game performance and it´s easy to blame other players or the game for your failure but that´s the easy road. But if I put myself in that moment with those feelings of anger then I don´t think I´ll see reason, it´s always afterwards that you´ll see things a bit clearer. It´s when the red cloud of anger covers your view that you don´t see reason, then it´s the fault of someone but that person is hardly ever you. But there might always be a form of hatred towards yourself for failing, where you hit yourself or curse yourself. Not a healthy way of gaming or living!
So what should you do against this anger issue? Some people will say don´t play games, others will say put the game away for some time or just pause the game and calm yourself. That´s easy to say but it´s a slow and not always satisfying path. I´ve discovered that when I´m angry I want to vent it out, so shouting seems like a good thing to do but when you have neighbours then it´s not pleasant for them if you keep them up half the night. Which means banging on the walls or destroying your furniture isn´t really an option either, besides you´ll probably regret doing that later when you´ve calmed down. What works for me is writing or typing when I´m online, just vent your anger in words and put whatever you feel like on paper or the screen. If someone else frustrates you then type a message to the guy or girl, usually when you´re done with the message (assuming you have a lot to say) then you´re often already calmed down because writing and typing does take some concentration and that doesn´t go well with anger. So for you to type or write a proper message means you have to let go of the anger, which means that in the process of venting your anger you´re actually letting go. Now I´m not saying this works for everyone and I´m definately not encouraging people to send these hate messages. It´s really the process of typing and writing what I´m using as therapy, not the actual sending of the message. Probably in your first draft you´ve got a lot of mistakes in your message, if you don´t care about that then this is definately not your way of venting your anger. Because it´s actually about trying to be clever and vent your anger in a proper message. This means you´ll have to be concentrated and fixed on writing or typing without making mistakes. Which is where you´ll probably calm down in the process. The problem with getting angry is usually yourself, so be careful when you point fingers because you might do damage that you´ll regret sooner or later!
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